


Show me what you've got

by Ralos



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: ...temporarily i guess, M/M, Unrequited Love, canonical living together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 06:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralos/pseuds/Ralos
Summary: The dream starting from secret night, would not end at cresent rise or daybreak.
Relationships: Kujou Ten/Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, Kujou Ten/Yaotome Gaku, Tsunashi Ryuunosuke/Yaotome Gaku
Kudos: 10





	Show me what you've got

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is the first time I post on AO3…in English I mean. You may find another post with the same title under this account but in Chinese, and this is a translated version thanks to @ST_boom, I’ve also made some adjusts, hope this won’t cause much linguistic mistakes…   
This is about … unrequited loves, in plural form. Like… Gaku loves Ryuu while Ryuu falls for Tenn and Tenn likes Gaku (without knowing this himself, I mean Tenn)
> 
> (In another fic I’m thinking about Ryuu/Tenn where Ryuu took sometime to realize his feelings for Tenn and has no idea about Tenn’s thuoghts but Tenn knew both from the very beginning… but still I think it would be interesting to make Tenn unaware of his own feelings (he’s observant with others but … I think he is not that good at dealing with himself) also if Tenn knew about this he would definitely hide it deeply and Gaku will never has a chance to know about it(  
Wish you could enjoy! Any comment will be a great encourage to me, I really love reading comments…and feel free to ask if there are any narration that are unclear so that I may be able to improve ORZ I’ve noticed misunderstanding when showing it to my friends.

Show Me What You’ve Got

Love will sometimes hurt people

“A box of vanilla doughnuts. With chocolates.” 

Gaku turned to Tenn at a loss. However, the one who was being looked at didn’t even face around but stared at TV, greeting to him while urging him, “Welcome back-- and be careful for your going out. ”

“Ah?” Frowning, Gaku put the shopping bag on the coffee table and went straight to sit down aside. It was obvious that he was unwilling to follow the sudden order. “I have already asked you whether you had something to buy when I was at the store. Who was it that had read my message without responding?”

“It was not my fault, you know. I had just opened the refrigerator, only to find the strawberry pudding and last three jellies-- all that I wanted to have today have already been eaten.” Tenn didn’t remove his eyes from TV, on which the new teleplay with Nanase as the protagonist was played. He just unlocked his telephone and showed it to Gaku. On the screen there was the marked “Cheating Day” and RabbitChat records a few minutes early.

“Ryuu, have u eaten the pudding and jellies in the refrigerator?”

“Sorry, Tenn! Gaku’s filming work last night was put off until early this morning due to the equipment’s malfunction. Guess he was too hungry when getting home. I have planned to buy new ones earlier today...[Sweating Pudding][Sweating Pudding][Pudding with Spoon]And I would bring two boxes of vanilla doughnuts from that newly-open store, OK?”

“Thx. It’s not ur fault, don’t buy them.[Angry Pudding] Kitten that loves strawberries should learn to take charge of him own fault. ”

“[Shaking Kinako] I would buy some maple syrup. Pancake for tomorrow’s breakfast?”

Gaku has just glimpsed this line and the next stickers of [Expecting Kinako] when Tenn took his phone back. “Now it’s 1:37 p.m., it would take you about 50 minutes to get that store by subway. And my suggestion is that you’d better not drive there, as you are most likely to be trapped in the traffic jam. What’s more, the store would close at 7 o’clock, but vanilla doughnuts are usually sold out by 2:30 p.m..” Tenn, with a light pink bolster in arms, knocked at the coffee table and then gesticulated, pretending to be polite, said, “Sunglasses and mouth-muffle have been ready, you are welcome.”

“...Sorry.” Gaku stood up obediently, taking out a new cake from the shopping bag, and then put it on the coffee table as an apology. But when he was about to deal with the food left in the bag, Tenn stopped him. Surprisingly, he was not eager to open the cake box, but looked at Gaku thoughtfully. His eyes, inflected with the sunshine, were rose red, transparent like the mirror. Gaku didn’t know what to do-- stared by him, it seemed that all the secrets were exposed in his eyes. 

“You are especially kind to me these days, aren’t you?”

He didn’t remember clearly what he had said before escaping into the kitchen with two shopping bags in the hands, but he knew it was no doubt that his unusual behaviors in recent days have already been exposed. In fact, there were a number of ways to answer that question. He could deny it directly, or admit it, or just find an excuse for what he had did. What really counted was that he should have been unperturbed enough, and it would be easier to minimized it—this was a basic principle he had learned from Anesagi to control public opinions. Although at the very beginning, Tenn had insisted that they were just business partners, the relationship among them has changed, and it is natural to pamper the member who was the only teenager in TRIGGER. Even if there were some other reasons, to tell it directly would also be a good choice.

Even from the very beginning, they got along with and talked to each other in a direct way. Of course there used to be misunderstandings and hurts. Luckily, TRIGGER owned three members instead of two. Thus, sharp arguments that crossed the bottom line were prevented, the intentions covered by anger were explained. They were backed by the gentlest sea, while shared the same dream which they created together and loved deeply. It’s the moon in the dark night, the torch in the strong wind, showing them the way forward. They may have different opinions on the track list or stage design, or doubt about each other’s determination or lifestyle. Even though every argument may be as sharp as a sword, they never attempt to hurt. Instead, the argument between them was more like a graver on the sculpture, with every cut down, they became better both inside and outside. Or, by doing this, the trapped soul could be liberated from the stone cage.

The most important question now was that, Gaku was afraid that his straightness would bring hurts.

How could he tell Tenn? Could he say something like “I feel like you may like me, but I’m sorry that I am unable to return you with the same kind of love.”? Or something like “You are still my important partner, I don’t want you to be hurt for this”? Such thoughts haunted him, and as a result his carefulness even looked like a kind of mercy which he gave from a high position. Also, there was another reason for his not telling such word—though Tenn was sensitive enough when getting along with others, he hasn’t realize his own thoughts towards Gaku. 

To make things worse, compared with the fact that “my important partner with who I get along every day may like me”, more terrible thing was that “meanwhile, I fall for the other member in our group.”

What would he get from confession? Getting a satisfying response would hurt Tenn, being refused would unnecessarily burden Ryuu with his feelings while all he wanted was protected his important members, let alone the damage it would cause to their relationship, even to TRIGGER itself. 

“I will sing with them until the end. So we will be together till the end, too.”

From when they met each other, from the moment when he said that, and up to now, Yaotome Gaku’s thought has never changed.

As long as he kept silent, it would be easy to retain their relationship in this way. Just as the nursery rhyme goes, the one who tells a lie would swallow one thousand needles. To keep the feeling in the heart may cause pain like this, but at least it afflicted on himself rather than the two he cared a lot and shared the same dream. He had already made the choice. 

He should have been silent.

There were so many philosophers who regard emotion as disasters, as horrible monsters. It was because to control emotion could be so difficult that in most of the time, emotion would overwhelm ration. Gaku was clear that to be silent was the best choice for him. He should be silent about this, forever silent. However, as he thought more about it, he felt more anxious to tell his feelings out. All in all, he was not good at keeping a secret.

What was the feeling of falling in love? I want to be his lover, I want to hold his hands, I want to hug him and kiss him, I want to see him at the first and last glance everyday. I want to be the unique one to him, and to be together with him forever without departure. Even though this dream could never be realized, at least I still hoped that he could know these burning hot feelings I’ve held. It hurts like putting one’s heart on the edge of a knife, of an axe, but to give up will cause tens of millions of times hurt than now.

A cicada may sleep underground in the soil for seventeen years, but still look forward to singing aloud in the summer.

He was appreciate for the experience of working in Yamamura Soba and the habit of preparing meals himself own. Although being absent-minded from what he was doing, he still sorted all the ingredients into different parts of refrigerator smoothly. Tenn seemed not interested in asking him more when he got back to the living room, but stared at the computer screen, absorbed. Gaku felt less stressed. He put on mouth-muffle, sunglasses and hat one by one. When he was about to go out to the store, he hesitated, still.

“How can you hide your love?” He wanted to asked Tenn. How could you hide your emotion, strangle the passion to tell all it out? How can you keep it secret in the heart like swallowing one thousand needles for the sake of those you love? And how can you in this case still smile normally, as if nothing has happened as long as no one has seen the hurt and blood. How can you do this? 

How can I do this?

Of course he didn’t speak it out, but Tenn turned around.

“Gaku,” Tenn looked at him, “If you want to say something, just tell it out.”

“Nothing serious.” “It is not something important.” “Why would you feel like that I want to tell you something?” Gaku had numberless excuses to say, to hide his thought. However, he failed when he opened mouth, “If what I say would hurt someone, can I still tell it out?”

He knew the answer to the question. Whatever, it was not the first time that the center of TRIGGER has surprised him.

“But you would get hurt if you don’t tell it out, right?”

Although Gaku hadn’t mean to argue with Tenn, he almost told it ironically out of natural habit, “You yourself never chose to speak.”

Surprisingly, Tenn didn’t get angry, but answered Gaku peacefully, which even enabled him to imagine the moment long ago, when he sang the cradle song by hospital bed in a low voice, just like a small guardian angel.

“Gaku, you are different from me.”

“We are not loving our fans unilaterally, they also, in return, give courage to us and protect us. ‘We love each other mutually.’ It was you that told me about this.”

“The attempt to protect, to hope the other one never be hurt would be owned by both side.”

“There is no need to change, Gaku. Just tell what you think about right away, like what you always do.”

A long silence filled the room. Tenn still stared at him, as if he was waiting for the following words. Just like a wonder that Gaku didn’t felt stressed. There was no pressure in his eyes but gentle gaze full of softness, like snow falling in the light through the window at deep, quiet night.

Gaku took a deep breath, finally said, “I also ate your chocolate last time.”

Tenn gazed at him silently for three seconds, and then took the knife on the coffee table in the hands.

Before a criminal case involved top idols presented on tomorrow’s newspaper, the two in the room heard the click in lock. There was someone opening the door.

“I am back--” Ryuu greeted cheerfully to them, but his voice suddenly paused when the sight of Tenn holding a knife in the hand came into his vies. Ryuu exchanged gazes with Gaku, and grasped the situation quickly. They had great tacit understanding with each other through numberless rehearsals. Ryuu took out things he had bought from the shopping bag while standing between them, seeming undesignedly. Thus their leader could have enough time to escape.

When Gaku escaped with a simple “I am going out”, Ryuu had already took the knife in his own hand.

“I’ve bought some apples, would you like to have some?”

“… …”Tenn ate a piece of apple cut like a rabbit, demanded, “I want to eat muffins with cats on it drawn with syrup for tomorrow’s breakfast.”

A braver on each my left and right

The alert was over, and the entire apple has almost been cut into the shape of rabbits. Finishing all this, Ryuu turned around into the kitchen, likely dealing with the ingredients prepared for dinner.

Once again, Tenn was alone in the living room. The new episode of TV series was over, but he still looked at the screen, absent-minded. The thought of offering Ryuu help in the kitchen just emerged, and then disappeared, covered by other thoughts like traces smoothed by the wave.

The communication they’ve had before seemed to work. Tenn could felt that Gaku was truly thinking about his opinions when they were looking at each other, and, he didn’t hate that. But still, Gaku didn’t tell his thought out, which was quit different from the one he used to be. And that attempt of distracting him was disastrously unnatural—but Gaku has already showed his attitude of unwilling to continue this discussion—maybe he need more time to make the choice, or just not want to continue with him.

Whatever reason may it be, the most appropriate way was to stop here, and never ask more. There were few situations that could make Gaku hesitate. And hardly had Tenn seen he behave like this—just few times, and each of them has something to do with the ones who he cherished a lot, like his parents and TRIGGER. The manager of IDOLiSH7 may be also on the list. But he and Ryuu had witnessed several arguments between Gaku and his father. They also went together to Yamamura Soba for a few times, let alone the friend-like relationship between him and Manager Takanashi for they had much RC communication. If it was disruption in the family or the unrequited feeling towards Manager Takanashi(Tenn guessed) that troubled him, Gaku didn’t need to hide it. The truth was easy to get through an exclusive method. It was most likely that Gaku was worried about something of TRIGGER, or about Tenn himself. Therefore, though he needed to talk for a way of dealing with it, he still couldn’t tell it all out to Tenn. 

Tenn was in a daze with fork in the mouth. The sweet cream melted on his tongue, too sweet, even turned out to be bitter.

That was reasonable. In the very beginning, it was Kujo Tenn himself that insisted they were just business partners. What’s more, ever since he studied aboard, he had learned how to keep an appropriate distance between himself and others. He didn’t need to become someone’s bosom friends since the departure would come soon or later, and instead divided his time and energy into classes in the school, practice of all sorts, performance in the amusement park and the classic operas on the stage. These efforts were for the coming future when he could stand in the spot light, and would not fail his fans’ love and attention. It has already been a kind of luxurious thing to miss his family in the dream, let alone keep a close relationship with others, which would be bond to trouble him. 

However, that was all before they became TRIGGER.

He could remember everything that had happened since they knew each other. He remembered the iced apple juice in the night they met, their first winning in Black Or White, the tacit cooperation on the concerts, his doubts and shakes in their “stealing songs”, the sea wind from Okinawa on summer night, the cheers they won in the musicals, the stage with only one standing on but also the sea of lights of three colors, and the towel hiding his tears away in the heavy rain and the hands they put on his shoulders. 

The dream starting from secret night, would not end at cresent rise or daybreak.

As business partners, it was obvious that they didn’t need to care much about the private life of each other, as well as their thoughts and feelings, either. But now Tenn was trapped in thinking about it again and again. He wanted to know more. Wasn’t it them who have taught him to ask for more, to desire and even began to believe in eternity? Wasn’t it Yaotome Gaku who confronted and fought with him with a straight —even sharp— attitude from the very beginning to the mutual understanding now? Of course he believed Gaku would find a better way to tell him, but this kind of conceal-though out of protection- just irritated Tenn. Weren’t they standing shoulder to shoulder with each other facing all challenges? No one should be left back, and no one wanted to be, either. Who would like to hide in the rear, like a princess locking in a tall tower? Who would like to stay and wait, watch others fighting, fold fingers and prey for them?

Tenn was resolved as if he was going to declare a war. He postponed the clock for half an hour on the phone of reminding him to exercise, leaving enough time to ask his leader for a clear answer.

“Tenn?” Ryuu appeared out of kitchen, putting off the apron and asked, “The movie you mentioned last time, I’ve borrowed it on my way home. Would like you to watch it with me together? ”

“Ok.” Tenn nodded, putting the fork on the remaining strawberries, and pushed it a little further.

Entrust yourselves to me, always

Ryuu first felt a kind of soft touch from hair on the arm, and then there was weight. On the screen the actress was looking at the inflection in the mirror silently, and among the background music he heard peaceful and long breath beside.

Carefully, Ryunosuke adjusted himself, kept supporting sleeping Tenn while trying to reach the only pillow that was appropriate to be leaned on the sofa. It took him almost five minutes to lie Tenn down while moving himself away from the sofa. Then he went upstairs looking for a blanket.

He didn’t need to be so careful. Though Tenn always had a light sleep, he would still be more relaxed at home on the day off, and not be waken up easily as Ryunosuke worried. But such thing rarely took place, thus Ryunosuke hadn’t yet found an appropriate way to deal with it, and could only do try to handle it with his ordinary gentleness. Although three years have passed, Ryunosuke was still deeply impressed by the time when they met. He had to be careful. At that time, they were so occupied by the heavy work that they could only sleep in the car. Sixteen-year-old Tenn never slept soundly, he was like a strained bowstring, or a sculpture of glass whose half part was hanging in the air, and would open eyes as long as someone touched him. In few seconds would he wake up enough to offer perfect smile to the gunshot-like flashlights.

Ryunosuke spread out the thin blanket of deep blue, and put it on Tenn. Before he sat on the carpet beside the double sofa, he finished turning down the volume, raising one degree of air-conditioner and decreasing two degrees of speed. The carpet was bought in the first autumn after they lived together, when it was not so cold that they needed to take furnace, but to walk on the floorboard with bared feet was also too much. To clean furry carpet was more or less a thing of trouble. Luckily, two of them were good at cleaning, which ensure the purchase with more advantages than disadvantages.

Unlike in typical metaphor, his gaze was not a kind of matter with real temperature or weight. So Ryunosuke didn’t need to hide but gazed at Tenn, without worrying that Tenn would be woke up. Tenn slept on one side. A tuft of hair laid down on his cheek from his side face, moved slightly with every breath. Ryunosuke stared at that turf of pink hair, knowing that if he now bowed his head, to a close distance that was enough to kiss, he could get a kind of orange smell from Tenn’s hair, from the shampoo which was the same as his. It was secret, affectionate, even like a hickey beneath the clothes. And Tenn now was even sleeping with the blanket he took out from his room, as if he was sleeping in his arms.

But there was so much different. He knew.

The shoes with pearls fell. Light textile clothes and textile on the face fell. The head of the Saint fell. Red lips reflected like snakes in the wine fell on the cold lips with blood of the dead.

Salome embraced the head of the loved closely, standing in the blood and the moonlight. She laughed.

The King retreated, frightened. And then soldiers with swords and shields came like waves.

Before the end of the movie, the last he heard were the split of swords into the wind, also into the flesh.

Quietly, he stared at the rolling cast. There was the same swords hanging on his head. Love has been extolled for thousands of years, but possessiveness was always with it. There was no rose without a thorn. A beast, however long and tightened it was tied up, once it was freed, nothing can change its original damaging nature. And while the beast could be killed, the emotions and desires in one’s heart could never be eliminated.

It would be more like sailing on the sea then. Sometimes one may be lucky enough to sail through peaceful waters. But luck won’t be always with someone. It may be peaceful now, but storms would take place from time to time. There may be sunny or cloudy now on the horizon, however, no one knows whether it may be thundering or raining the next moment. He was even able not to care about whether he would get drowned or not, but in the boat there was treasure that was more important than himself. He has been the protector for such long time that he would even blame himself for the slightest damage of the wrapper. It was certainly impossible to tolerate any scratch on the diamond, especially caused by his personal desires. It would be best if he could berth the ship into dock, and while the shore was still not in sight, what he could only do was sailing carefully, even more carefully, praying that he would find the dock before storm came.

The light changed as the time pasts in the screen to which they were exposed. In such changing light, it was as if they spent years in one moment. Tenn slept soundly, and there was a small voice in Ryunosuke’s mind, wanting that the moment when they were with each other like lovers could last for long, until the eternal or death fell. However, he never knew how to be selfish, and the voice disappeared after a second, like a dying flickers on the candle shaking in the wind.

That may be a good choice for him, be what he wanted, too. But Tsunashi Ryunosuke was not only himself, but the sexy-and-wild idol in their fans’ eyes, the essential part of TRIGGER in the training room, before camera and in the spotlight. He was also an elder, gentle brother of Yaotome Gaku and Kujo Tenn, the one they never met in their life before. He would do what he could to protect TRIGGER, like how Gaku and Tenn would protect him, like how he would protect them two. 

They were TRIGGER, who created dreams for their fans, but never drowned in dreams themselves.

Show me what you've got

“I am back.” Gaku opened door with donuts in hands, said, “I’ve bought a box of vanilla doughnuts, and a box of--”

“Welcome back.” Ryuu sat on the blanket, smiling to him. He gesticulated to Gaku, reminding him to keep quiet when answered him in a low voice, “Tenn has just fell asleep.”

“Well.” Gaku nodded, “Then I would put them into refrigerator.”

I know what you are thinking about. Yaotome Gaku thought.

There may be numerous reasons. He may put too much attention on the one he liked, so he could find the least details. He may be as allergic as Ryuu, for they were both prisoners trapped in the unrequited love. Or he may be just tricked by the destiny. No matter which one the reason was, Gaku realized that Ryuu owned same emotion as his, from the latter’s gaze on Tenn just now.

Gaku had a glimpse of the phone, and took out two bottles of beer from the refrigerator. He threw one bottle to Ryuu, saying, “It’s too early for dinner, would you like to drink some?”

Obviously, Ryuu had been worrying that he couldn’t control his own emotions. Besides, he hardly hidden his thoughts from other two members. And now he drunk the beer and told himself out.

“I am afraid that it would be a burden to Tenn…” Tshunashi Ryunosuke looked down at the half-drunk can with a pair of wet, honey-colored eyes, “Of course I wouldn’t speak it out, but--”

“Why not?”

He asked, “We are—TRIGGER are—no longer that easy to end, right? There is no need for extra carefulness to protect it now.”

“No matter what the future will be, we would be together. Always together. I believe in this—don’t you, Ryuu?”

Silence. He spent a few seconds to imagine what the scene inside the room would be. Then he smiled quietly, taking himself out of the meaningless thoughts. 

Kujo Tenn knocked on the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> The subtitles are from their birthday solos, (whose English translation I took from i7 fandom wiki, thanks!) and Gaku’s part is that “Love will sometimes hurt people, (but you should know that its wounds can heal)”. I always enjoy writing and reading unrequited love fics but different from my usual interest (where the one in love will be afraid of being hated by the other if his feelings were found out and he might lost the relationship he has now with that person… in brief it would be like walking on ice. But TRIGGER is not fragile ice… it’s their safety net. I really love this but it makes me suffer in attempting to write this fic lol. I’ve been thinking so hard trying to figure out how they would react in this situation, oh and also about why they will fall in love with each other (though I think canon has prove this enough when will they get married??I mean they even live together!) which I didn’t have a chance to present in here… well next time. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading it! I hope you can enjoy and Any! Comment! Will! Make! My! Day! Thanks!


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